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3/16/14 — Westboro Baptist Church members hold loving vigil for “on the edge of death” and possibly ex-communicated Pastor Fred outside Midland Hospice house. (Topeka, KS)

Valentine’s is in two days. Which lucky lady will I choose?

My Friend Duke Sells Cars

And he prefers the 49ers

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http://cccruisers.com/

little bitches

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New Game

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I call it The TSA Sneak. They allow liquids and gels only up to 3.4oz but how far over can you go? Pow! Who’s next? #NoRules

Star Autosports is SHADY

I played nice for a long time and it didn’t work. In the interest of letting other potential customers know, I shall air my dirty laundry. Star Autosports on Sepulveda in West Los Angeles is trying to screw me. Not so fast, Star Autosports. Here’s my very first real Yelp review. I call it Step 2 in the process.

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http://www.yelp.com/biz/star-autosports-los-angeles-2

Shockingly awful, easily the worst shop I’ve ever used.

The last time I picked up my car from Star Autosport, the entire bottom half of my bumper was gone. I had to point it out. The mechanic expressed surprise and then told me that maybe I brought it in like that. He finally called Albert and then told me, “Oh, yes. Now, I remember.” Albert noticed it a couple hours earlier and they discussed it. So why was he so surprised now? Yet Albert said nothing when he told me I could pick up my car nor did anyone else when I arrived within the hour. I let him talk. He said someone must have hit my car while it was parked on the street overnight and taken the bumper to remove the evidence. I asked to see the security footage as my car was parked right in front of their cameras but that was ignored. They finally agreed to replace the bumper so I let it go. Star fixed it the next week while I waited. That day, I saw my old bumper in their shop and they admitted one of their guys had an accident in my car they covered up. Resolved?

No. A couple weeks later, I saw that my car was missing about $600 in parts. I called and was immediately told that I brought it in like that. Just like my bumper. More specifically, they claimed that the first time I brought my car in, a few months earlier, Albert noticed the missing parts and we had a conversation about it. Incorrect. We never had a conversation and I know the parts were there because, the second to last time I picked up my car, after they released it to me, a mechanic stopped me as I was driving away because he had not yet put those exact parts back on yet. Then I watched him do it in the street.

Okay, fine, mistakes are made but how do they get addressed? It’s been 3 months. I have yet to speak with Albert and I have a number of emails that go nowhere. Almost two months ago I was told they ordered half the parts for me and then communication stopped. I kept trying. A month later, finally a response. Yes we ordered the parts. I’ve been asking when I can get them but I’ve heard nothing back. I’m guessing the $600 in parts can be replaced by them for far less than the retail price yet they’re willing to stick it to a previously cooperative and understanding customer over that small amount of money. You should know that.

Do you want a shop that breaks your car, fails to put your car back together, and lies? Star might be the shop for you. Oh, wait. There’s more. After I started asking for my parts back, they presented me with an additional ~$1000 bill. Not only was I blindsided by these charges I never knew about nor authorized, they haven’t put the parts back on my car. By that, I mean they didn’t finish the work they are charging me for. I suppose it may be partly my fault in that I let them do that to me one other time earlier in the year when I walked in to pay a $300 bill that ended up closer to $800 because I trusted them.

Albert, you know who I am. Please call. Give me my stuff back.

Cooperman NBA 2013-14 Preview

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(The NBA’s logo)

The NBA season tips off tonight. 30 teams begin the march for glory and only one team can win it all next June. But which team did the NBA Commissioner’s office choose to win this year? Here’s my picks.

1. Miami Heat - Sure, everyone loves a winner and they have a bunch of famous guys. The Heat will sell tickets and they will sell shirts. Also, Miami is a fun city to visit. David Stern would be a fool to overlook the Miami Heat when he decides this year’s NBA Championship.

2. Los Angeles Clippers - Watch out for the red-shirted stepchild of the NBA. In Blake Griffin, the Clippers also have a guy whose name I know. I even know what he looks like. With the Lakers supposedly being sucky now, the boys back in the New York 5th Avenue office simply must consider this major market team when selecting the big winner.

3. Chicago Bulls - Speaking of major markets, the United States Census Bureau estimates Chicago’s metro population at 9.8 million. That’s a lot of people who could be watching car and beer commercials this June. You better believe that Stern and his cronies mull over the dollars and the Bulls before they determine the 2014 NBA Champs.

4. San Antonio Spurs - I don’t know anything about basketball but the San Antonio Spurs come in at #3 on the current ESPN NBA Rankings. Must be for some reason and Spot #4 seems like a safe slot to hedge.

5. New Orleans Pelicans - Okay, I admit this one’s wishful thinking. Maybe the NBA suits up on the 19th floor won’t award New Orleans the NBA Championship this season but I like that they changed their name to Pelicans. Many people think pelicans are meek, little waterbirds. Not true. They’re monsters.

Oct 4

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Dammit. I knew this was coming eventually but SO SOON? Anyone know how to get out if it? FML. Thanks, Obama!

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Dear Mr. Urban Outfitters T-Shirt Buyer Person,

Let’s talk money.

Kind Regards,
Brian

Sunday Is For Breaking Bread

Last chance for me to recycle this.

briancooperman:

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Personalized M&M’s

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Here’s a tip for you. They won’t allow the word “poopoo” for personalized M&M’s but they do allow the word “oodood”.

http://www.mymms.com/utility.aspx?oid=9

I Rest My Case

He’s a foreigner.

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'Hawks

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My friend Joe Uhlarik just got to drink out of his second homemade Stanley Cup in four years.

My 2013 NFL Draft Breakdown

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Barkevious Mingo, LB (Cleveland Browns)

I didn’t pay much attention. I mistakenly thought Redskins’ 6th round pick, Bacarri Rambo, had the coolest name in the 2013 NFL Draft, held two months ago at Radio City Music Hall in New York. Wrong. I just learned about LSU’s Barkevious Mingo, picked 6th overall by the Cleveland Browns. He wins. Say his name out loud. It’s metrical, it’s lyrical, and it sounds real, real mean. I like Barkevious Mingo. Coolest name in the 2013 NFL Draft.

Flag Day

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Flag of Iqaluit

Today is Flag Day. I think my favorite flag is the Iqaluit flag. Iqaluit is the capital of Canada’s newest territory, Nunavut. The Iqaluit flag has 3 whales, what looks to be a glacier, and even the name Iqaluit on it. Nunavut’s official coat of arms includes a narwhal but today is Flag Day.